Having never written a book before, I did not know how deep and personal I was going to get with my audience. I made what is called a mind map and wrote out one or two word prompts for the big ticket items that made up my foster care experience. You can read my devotional here. There was a very important thing that happen to me that I just wasn’t willing to make public. Granted, this story is not a secret. I told it publicly at my girls adoption ceremony in 2011 and have told it to select friends. But the story is deeply personal and I didn’t feel up to sharing it in the book.
Dealing with the “system” is difficult and the goal as a foster parent is to serve the children in need. It’s difficult to do this and keep our minds on Christ during this time. I had what I would call a “God moment” before we got our girls. It was big when it happened. But as time went on, I would forget about it and enter into a state of doubt and overwhelm when faced with the different aspects of foster care.
Of course, when we shared it at our adoption ceremony, God was on our hearts and in our minds. We were so thankful and hopeful and ready to start our life together as a family. Once again, as time went on, this story fell from the forefront of my mind. At a very low and pitiful moment in the last year, I shared my doubts and overwhelm at the situation of our oldest daughter to a group of sisters at a Bible study. One friend, who had been to our ceremony and remembered my story, hugged me close and told me that God had put me with them and that I had what I needed to take care of my child. She reminded me of the story that i had forgotten as I was so bogged down in the present and defeated. Since that moment, I have reminded myself of this story and used it to persevere through my trials.
I was winding down a road in my subdivision in the summer of 2011 when I heard on the radio a very unfortunate story about a local murder case involving a young child. Just hearing it pricked my heart and I started crying out to God. I was praying, “Lord, here I am wanting to help children who are needing homes. God, if you would give me children, I would love them so much and take care of them.
Fast forward two weeks. I get a call from our child placement agency while I am in my car. The first words from her mouth about the children were, “You might have already heard a little bit about their story, it’s been in the news.” I knew that exact moment who they were and tears filled my eyes. I pulled over to talk to her on the phone. I got to know their ages and my husband got on the phone with me to give his “Yes” also. We were on our way to welcoming the girls into our life.
I did not know that these girls existed when I called out to God that day in the car. There was nothing about them on the radio story. I’m not sure how it all works spiritually speaking but I think God knew that he was giving them to me. My spirit knew that I was receiving them. I made a space for them in my heart that summer’s day. Two weeks later, with God’s intervention, we made a space for them in our home. This “God moment” I like to call it, is a sign of providence and his hand in our lives. It spurs me on to continue to parent them as I was chosen to do, when I know without a doubt that they were meant to be with me. The scripture Romans 8:26-28 (NRSV) agrees with this principal.
“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”
I hope that this encourages you. I know that you have God moments in your life too. I’d love for you to share them with me.
God is making moves in our lives all the time. He is touching us and anointing us for special things when we are ready to receive the call. I learned most importantly in the last year or two, to remember his calling on our lives. If we do remember, it will spur us onto great things. It will encourage us when we are feeling defeated; it will strengthen us when we are down.
“I will call to mind the deeds of the Lord; I will remember your wonders of old. I will meditate on all your work, and muse on your mighty deeds.Your way, O God, is holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have displayed your might among the peoples.” Psalm 77:11-14
It’s difficult when you are in the thick of your problems to forget how far you have come. Praise the Lord today for his goodness. Pray for a remembrance of the times that he has shown himself in your life, the times he has pulled through, and the great joy you have experienced in the past. Hope expectantly today for a breakthrough in the issues that you are experiencing, the sanctification you are needing, and the change you are desiring. God will provide a way.